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When to bring up the topic of sugar?

A sugar relationship could be whatever two people can agree on as long as the sugar brings “value” to both parties. As to when to bring this up, we don’t think there is anything wrong with asking about sugar early in the process by either the SD or SB.

Most of us SB's agree that parameters and expectations should be discussed and confirmed BEFORE meeting for the first time, by email, texts or phone conversations. You don't want to have conversations about allowances, and expectations when meeting face to face whilst trying to get to know if you have a genuine connection to want to actually proceed to a relationship.
Unlike normal dating, you shouldn’t leave things open ended and see what happens, otherwise the process could drag on without any tangible results.

If there is no travel involved, maybe you can discuss sugar when you meet in person. But if there is travel involved, then you should have a clear understanding of what each other’s expectations are before making travel arrangements.

We understand some people may misrepresent themselves, so there is an issue of trust and respect as well. Do you think the Pot you’re talking to can be trusted and has respect for you? Does the SB have a genuine interest in her potential SD? That’s a judgment call each person will have to decide for themselves.
Allowance Guidelines

SB's need to be realistic about what is a reasonable allowance to ask a potential SD to consider, that will also take into account her expenses and location.

SD’s need to be able to plan to have an SB in their life, and be fiscally reliable in that relationship too.
This is a lifestyle choice and is NOT for everyone.

Different people have different lifestyle needs, especially geographically where the rents/expenses are higher than other towns and cities.
SB’s should include travel costs to meet their SD’s when discussing an allowance.

$10K/$20K a month SD's are rare but they do exist. However they are all about looking to building trust with their SB's first. As a new SB, don't think that a millionaire SD will land in your lap!

Allowance concepts and levels range widely, however,  if an SD is seeking a great Sugar Baby and wants the best of those ladies who are extremely selective to meeting the right kind of Sugar Daddy  they want to engage with because they seek a connection that matters to them.
A high-class Sugar baby can offer her partner a genuine connection, be articulate, always well dressed and classy, beautiful and intelligent and most important of all - not desperate to land anyone who can just pay their bills and not care about anything else their SD can offer intellectually and emotionally.

(Please note this is based on general experience of the SB's polled on our site and on social networking sites and are a guide ONLY)

Minimum Expectation: $1,500 - $2K per meeting = appears to be the minimum amount an SD will be spending on an SB he is serious about establishing the relationship with or for those starting out or dipping into the lifestyle.
This amount decided by both parties, say for example $2K is usually paid for a  per meet (once or twice a month) basis, for some of the girls here, they said that that would entail between approx. 3-5hrs r espectively in an afternoon or evening with their SD, until the relationship is established due to difficulties in deciding what both parties foresee in the future of the arrangement or until the relationship is settled down to its natural course, as all new relationships eventually do.

What tends to happen in this scenario is that both parties review the situation after a few months or if they are happy with the arrangement, just continue as they are. Some people skip this level of allowance of a per meet basis and go straight into a monthly arrangement. Normally this suits the SD’s that have determined their financial reliability to commit to a monthly arrangement on an ongoing basis.

The following levels are usually set up for most established men who can afford to provide a more serious investment in their sugar Baby on a monthly basis - especially if she is exclusive to him and a monthly commitment (normally paid in advance or half at the beginning of the month and half mid-way or at the end of the month)

$3.5K - $5K = appears to be the average amount spent on an SB in the USA for a more serious relationship and most couples don't appear to have a specific  limit to the number of times they meet. It just tends to be more spontaneous and when it's mutually convenient. Some new couples use this amount too when they wish to engage in a monthly arrangement and not a per meet arrangement.

$5K - $10K= appears to be the average amount spent on an SB in the major cities and for those SD's who have seriously decided to get into the lifestyle with one special SB over a longer period. For some of us ladies who are in this realm who have been with one SD for some length of time, explain that it's a natural progression to discuss an increase in allowance levels when both parties realize they only want to see each other and come out of the "sugar bowl".

$10K - $20K= Established/older SD's seem to spend on an SB in the USA for a kept SB or Mistress. This amount would include costs for housing, cars, expenses etc. as well as cash.

$20K plus = Yeah, he can afford it! He is the ultimate SD where money is no object and he wants only the best SB he can find. Usually at this level, the relationship is on an exclusive basis.

These arrangements can be paid monthly or per meet (example: if your SD can only see you twice a year or once a month etc.), depending on what makes you both comfortable. It is very important that the SD stays committed to the agreed amount and is reliable in providing the allowance to the SB on the agreed date and for the agreed amount without being prompted or asked for it by his SB. Methods of how the allowance is given to the SB differs with every relationship and should be discussed so as not to cause any discomfort or embarrassment.

From our own poll on this question, most of us SB's prefer their allowance in cash inside an envelope or inside a card or thoughtful note and given to them in a discreet manner.

Also an important point; should the SD cancel or change his dates, the allowance should STILL be payable to the SB.
She has committed her time to making time to get ready, adjust her schedule for a meeting and is relying on you to provide a regular and ongoing arrangement.
SD's should discuss what happens with the allowance should he cancel a meet or needs to change the parameters.

Also there are SD's that are allowance daddy's only or gift daddy's only or a combination of both. Some established SB's keep a wish list of items for their friends and SD's to purchase gifts from when he feels so inclined.

It's up to the SB to be assertive and ASK for what she wants. You can always negotiate or agree to review every couple of months to see how you both feel about any increases or changes.

Some SD's bring a small gift on the first date, (hey some of us love flowers too) but most SB's will not insist that they do. However if an SB has to travel, it is expected that the SD will cover all her costs for the first date.

NOTE to both SD's and SB's - once you've agreed the arrangement, don't start changing things half way through the relationship unless it's mutually agreed. It can destroy the trust and shorten the relationship.
Other Expectations

Points to also discuss is expectations of intimacy by BOTH parties.
Some SD's are not seeking this and just wish to have a lovely intelligent companion. Other SD's expect intimacy at some point and you must both be open and honest about your feelings on thsi subject for it to work. If you are likely to become intimate, be sure to discuss your views about safe sex. A healthy and safe sex life is important.

How often you expect to meet is something to also discuss. Obviously nothing is set is stone, so a general idea to get a feel for what the expectations are in terms of mutual availability.

Neutral location/ his or her place?
Discretion is important to most experienced SB's and to most married SD's so the Pot/SD should suggest a nice, comfortable and safe location for both parties to enjoy their time together.

Communication between meets is a debateable subject here. Some  younger SB's loathe the idea of being constantly in communication with their SD's. The older or more experienced SB's want a genuine ongoing connection and encourage communication between meets with their SD's.


The key to this lifestyle is to always be open, honest and respectful of the parameters set between both parties at ALL times. Obsessive, jealous behavior or not keeping promises or sticking to the terms of the arrangement is destructive in this lifestyle. Also, leave the drama and baggage at home. This is supposed to be a fun time for both of you and not a nightmare!

Good Luck to all you SB's and SD's in the Sugar Bowl!